Feminine Retirement

Maria Paterakis The Feminine Experience of Retirement

Introduction

3:00 Resource for women approaching retirement or retired. Retiring with Joy – Filling the World with Feminine Sunshine. Changing the stereotypes of women as they age – not our grandmothers, our great-grandmothers.  More educated, healthier, more energy. Use to be traditional mind-set about retirement – it no longer fits.

4:30 Barriers for older women: stereotype. Retirement for stay at home women is very different as the home is the workplace and retirement may be less of a change. Women have traditionally been carers and may take over their retirement and can take over their plans. Stuck between two sets of individuals that may need care: grandchildren and parents/children/spouse with health problems. Government is quite happy to have women provide care instead of funding it. Women may feel cornered into caring; trapped into a caring role. Have to incorporate own needs: have to set boundaries, reconnect with who you are, stop putting yourself last. Maria has built a support group to have women in this position of retiring or already retired to talk about this phase of life and to share or learn about resources. FB live on Tuesday 1:00 (Brisbane, Aus time) for Tuesday Joy Tips on (retiring with joy tv on FB) about retirement and living with purpose and passion.

17:05 Online program to launch March (ish) 2019 for women to plan their retirement. Not much info on emotional/social well-being planning which is the beginning of retirement planning. Engage with yourself to find passion and purpose. The program consists of three parts: a) personal growth, b) legacy – what will you leave behind, c) connection with others to create meaningful relationships. What is the community that you want to serve.

21:26 20-30 years of retirement: after you do a holiday from retirement and then a holiday from your holiday, etc. What are you going to do that is fulfilling? May be retiring but still have something important to contribute.

23:06 Women are now going into a new realm – retirement – that had traditionally been in the male environment. First time a large number of women are retiring as they primarily worked in the home before.  Female retirees are well-educated, career women, and often well-paid. Not the male paradigm of retirement but how to create a retirement  that meets female needs. Traditionally the female lifespan has been education, sporadic working interrupted by caring for others and this caring can and often does extend into retirement. But everyone should have a choice about what they want to do in retirement including the amount of caring they want to give.

Contact details:

www.retiringwithjoy.com

Email: maria@retiringwithjoy.com

FB: Retiring with joy tv Can join support group through this group, see the retiring with joy Tuesday Tips and Monthly themes on FB live. Zazzi women: role models for female retirement. (coming in 2019)

Instagram: #retiringwithjoy

Service to the Community

Introduction

2:50 Beyond the Why (Andrea is currently writing it) is knowing and understanding what you are doing that taps into your passion. To be committed. Sense of Calling, let go of our own agenda, and find your calling. Something greater than ourselves, to create change. When we do what we are called to do – will have a ultimate impact on world and personal fulfillment. How to find our calling: what are our personal stories, strengths, skills. And then finding what makes the biggest difference. What are the values that are important to you, what makes you feel passionate and feel alive. Then Letting go of any plans and listen to where the future is calling you. What is really going to speak to you.

8:16 Retirement is like puberty; a complete reorganisation of your life. Perfect time to look at past achievements, skills and apply strengths and skills to something new. Contributing becomes more possible during working life so busy surviving can’t stop to do what we want to do. Most people want to make a difference.

11:00 What can I do in the next five years to make the world better. Make something happen with friends to find opportunity. Be very clear on who you are, what your community needs, and support each other in each person’s endeavour. Build a community  to share ideas, and develop something to feel fulfilled, coaching each other.

14:27 Finding your legacy: what we are leaving behind and what we are going to be known for Doing what gives us the greatest sense of fulfillment is our legacy for ourselves. Part of fulfillment is giving service to the community. Live our legacy to give to our community.

17:30 Working through your skills and strengths is one way, but also be aware of opportunities that are not obvious and just call to you. Use your strengths, although the strengths may used in different ways an in different proportions than in your working life.

19:20 A trend in business is to become more socially aware, provide something to the community. This is also applicable throughout your life, including retirement. We all can have a social mission throughout our lives. Chocolate and Coffee Day for Religious Harmony is an awareness day and is the result of the Lindt Chocolate Siege (Sydney 2014) where Muslims concerned about a backlash and were afraid to go outside. Someone on social media offered to ride with them to make them feel less vulnerable and saying that inclusion is important in our community. Andrea decided to also find a way to honour inclusion. She developed the Chocolate and Coffee Day for Religious Harmony. Anyone can ask a group together to to talk to someone who seems difference over  chocolate and coffee to foster inclusion. Have conversations and find the things that are similar instead of those that are different.

Everyone can have a Chocolate and Coffee Day for Religious Harmony. There are resources at the chocolate coffee day website (see contacts). Anyone can organise a day and invite whomever they like.

Contacts:

www.andreaputting.com.au

FB: andreaputting

chocolateandcoffeedayforReligiousHarmony

Resources:

Andrea Putting: Awake Stealth Leadership

 

 

Purpose in Retirement

Purpose with Alexandria Agresta

1:41 Introduction to Alexandria and Purpose Pioneers

Started her own company to teach business leaders how to a build a community based on values. Then created Purpose Pioneers; to experience real time fulfillment which feeling fulfillment now. Not waiting for some thing to happen to be fulfilled. Experience a sense of wholeness now. Purpose in retirement is not an end, but a beginning. Purpose is most needed in life transitions like retirement. Need clarity and directions based on purpose to take the next steps.Purpose is always evolving throughout your life and plays a crucial role in all stages.

7:30 Finding purpose as your retire

Ask questions: What activity brings you the most joy? When you help someone, what does that look like and how does it feel? What are some joyful experiences in your life? What do you want to do (not what you are expected to do)? Draw the boundaries  around what you want your life to be.

9:30 What is transformational? When helping others, transformation occurs. Change occurs. What do I want to do that results in that transformational change? It is the power of asking: ask questions, get them to talk about it to harness their thoughts to find purpose.

10:45 Systematize purpose: purpose drives our lives. Most understand purpose is important but don’t implement it in their lives long term. Need a mental framework: harness our thoughts in a linear framework to make sense of things. Embed your purpose in how your think, speak, act so purpose doesn’t fizzle away. 1st thing to do for a fulfilled retirement is to get clear on the values and purpose in life. Do you value integrity, family, community, etc.? Then use those values to make decisions.

14:02 Given that retirees may be older, have lots of experiences, lots of different purposes over time, how do they get to essence? Ask yourself: Are you willing to challenge your beliefs/assumptions of the world to be the highest version of yourself?  Life is challenging, hard but are you willing to challenges everything you know and believe to be the highest version of yourself? Living a purposeful life is not easy.

18:08 Purpose Frameworks:

a)    In communication

b)    Self awareness

c)    Values

d)    Breaking through fears

20:30 Retirement is a transition period where society norms may give no assistance. Know that retirement is the part of your life that could be the m? Lots of opportunities for helping others, giving back.  Know that you are worthy, have value, are unique, and know your purpose.

Contacts:

www.purposepioneers.com

 alexandria@purposepioneers.com

Alexandria offered to be a resource for anyone interested in delving into their purpose

Changing Retirement

Introduction to Peter Nicholls – the Australia's People Gardner

3:30 Define leisure: use to be defined as opposite to working hard and being successful. Many thought it was a competitor with working for one’s time. Peter defines it as the Creative expression of your natural talents for the sheer, intrinsic pleasure of the experience. 

Times are changing: stressful life, people are looking for ways to cope. When you find yourself  intent on something you love, you find the real you. This is a way to cope with aging.

Peter mentors people to have a positivel retirement. Women vs Men look at retirement differently. Men may be very reluctant to retire because they believe they will lose their identity. Women much more open to working through their emotions/feelings about this change and what it really means.

Start planning around mid – 50’s as people begin wondering what they have achieved and is it what they want. Wondering what they want to do with the rest of their life. But people are changing their attitude from working for money to planning their life to let them explore their interests and ideas.

21st Century Thinking: individuals are thinking in 24/7, not 5 day workweek. Boomers are changing the appearance of retirement – aging well, keeping mentally and physically healthy, active. And where does work (if it does) fit into this.

20th Century Thinking: governments, big institutions that work and making money is the only ladder to success.  So there is a disconnect between what individuals think and want and what public policy and societal norms are saying.

Individual shift in thinking is examining their lives and finding the things that they are good at and what they enjoy doing.  Find what they enjoy, who they really are, work is only one aspect of the whole.

19:39 There is an emerging global aging well revolution. It began because of age discrimination. Everyone ages from birth to death. Aging is on a continuum; from linear, chronological aging to looking at wisdom and experience. But the issues of aging well are the same issues of every age maintain good physical and mental health, maintain activity, etc.  People want to age well all of their life.

23:10 Boomers may be the last that followed the traditional trajectory of work. Younger individuals are looking at the work life as something quite different: what do they want to learn, do and become what they want to be at any age  instead of working in a traditional manner.

25:40 Getting pre-retirees to look differently at their life: life is like a 3 course meal: entrée = schooling, main = work, dessert = post work. Transition from what you have to do and a little of what you love  to do to doing what you love most of the time with a little of doing what you must. Exploring what you love to do becomes important.

29:18 What about those disappointed about being retired. They have to decide what they were good at, what they enjoyed doing, and how can they still do those things. Perhaps giving back to the community, helping younger generation by transferring those skills to them. Is there something I can do to help someone else using my innate skills and knowledge?

33:00 Peter’s book: A Hunger to Grow: How to Enjoy the Dessert Years of Life: available on Amazon in print form, e book and an audio book. To receive a signed book, contact Peter by email.

38:40 Getting back to nature is really important to grow as a person.

Contacts:

Email: peter@apg.life

LinkedIn: Lifestylementor

FB: enjoymentfactor

Twitter: enjoybeingyou

Feeling Loss in Retirement

Retirement – Career/Work Loss with Heather Stang

 

Introduction to Heather and her work

 

3:45 Retirement is a major change in life which results in a normal loss reaction. Feeling loss of daily routine, identity, sense of meaning are all common. It is normal to feel loss as one shifts from daily work life to retirement.

6:00 Who are you now? Need self-compassion because you and your life are changing and need time and effort to feel comfortable in new role. List the quality/traits that you have that are not work-related is one technique to find the retirement you – spouse, parent, grandparent, volunteer, community member etc. Find how to relate to yourself in a non-work environment. Explore who you are now? What is your passion? Not easy and takes effort but needs self-compassion.

Kristen Neff: Self-compassion has three elements

a)       Self-kindness – how do you talk to yourself? Is it positive or negative? Humans have a negativity bias: where they pay attention to the negative more than the positive. Obsess over what is wrong, rather than what is right.  Be aware of your self-talk; will probably tend toward the negative because this is a major life change which takes effort to craft new role. Consciously  be aware of what you are saying and try to be neutral if not positive in your self-talk.

b)      Common Humanity – most people who retire will be stressed because of this major life change.  Normal human reaction to change. Build or join a community of others in similar situations.

c)       Mindfulness – state of mind of being aware, present, compassionate in the moment. Build resilience for the major change of retirement. Use mindfulness to check out what is missing when retired – connection?, meaning? Purpose?

17:00 Many are retiring and then returning to work.  Be aware why they are returning? What is their motivation? Are you avoiding something, or you truly love the job, or financial reasons. Good to understand our motivations. Know and understand why you are returning to work. Afraid of the void, the habits of work etc. These feelings of fear, distress, etc. are signals that something is out of balance. Be self-aware and explore the reasons for these feelings so that you can create the life you really want in retirement. Using mindfulness to step out of our habits and become aware of the moment. Find something new or something that you haven’t had time to do recently. Use mindfulness to find something new and or creative to encourage mental flexibility.

27:30 Time does not alleviate grief or loss but what you do with the time that will lead to lessening of these emotions. It is different for each person; each must find their own  purpose and meaning and that can  be a variety of things.  Finding meaning through activities is important in retirement.  Be open to opportunities that may be very different from what you have done previously or want to do .

34:09 Do retirement your own way. Create space to listen to yourself.

Contacts:

Website: www.minfulnessandgrief.com

FB: mindfulnessgrief

Insta: mindfulgriefquotes

Two Years into Retirement with Nerida Tempest

Introduction to Nerida Tempest- 2 years into retirement

7:36 Have to feel happy where you are. Value social interactions – started yoga, joined U3A. Need to be proactive to find new friends. Important to make the effort to meet people, make friends. Left good friends in Perth, but everyone doesn’t retire at the same time. Can’t rely solely on those you socialised with before retirement. Return to Perth because Nerida’s parents live there – about 3 times a year. See Perth friends then.

11:30 Planning day to day – doing things that I didn’t do when I worked – more physical exercise, joined a book club. Nerida and Richard planned for retirement for two years and weren’t worried about finding something to do. More difficult to choose between the many things that are available.  But activities change and be open to new things along the way. Most important to keep your body and mind active and grow your friendship group. It has been more difficult for her husband because he has been working for most of his life and taken very little long-term time off as Nerida did for raising the children. Their planning for retirement consisted mainly of logistics once they decided to move.

16:19 Retirement fulfilled their expectations. They are happy they relocated, aware that may have many years in retirement and have started thinking needing to find a purpose. But right now content with current activities but in the future they will probably not be enough. Looking for something that adds value to someone else. Nerida will start to probably explore volunteer possibilities.

18:54 Guidelines to be fulfilled in retirement: Happiness is not enough – people need purpose. For their self-worth, need to add value to someone or something. Really happy, but there will need to be more

20:48 Advice: stimulated mentally, physical activity, good social network (very important) get involved in something and comfortable with the activity and the people.