You Know You Are a Yoga Teacher if:

  1.  In class, you use Sanskrit terms that no one understands (because Sanskrit is an almost dead language that hardly anyone speaks or reads except professors of dead languages and Indian right wing politicians)
  2.  You wear see-through pants because a yoga teacher has great glutes
  3.  You never fart in yoga class even during the gas pose
  4.  Your day begins at 4 AM because some teacher said yoga teachers' days begin at 4 AM.
  5.  You have tried: dog yoga, acro yoga, golf yoga, runners yoga, hot yoga, hot dance yoga (actually saw an ad for this one), SUP yoga etc.
  6. You wear your yoga pants everywhere including weddings
  7. You say Namaste at every opportunity
  8. You are a vego or a raw food expert or vegan or eat paleo or all of these things.
  9. You have selfies of yourself on the beach at dawn doing Adha Beanasana Mexicasana Hopasana or the one armed handstand hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean.
  10.  You have a wardrobe full of tie dyes
  11. You love and use your netti pot daily
  12. You love meditation and you know someday you will reach samadhi (maybe)
  13.  You have discovered Kirtan and drag all of your friends who may become former friends quickly to Kirtan performances.
  14. Your guru gave you a very special Sanskrit name which means nothing but sounds good.
  15.  You are an expert at saying OOOOOOOOOOmmmmmmmmm.
  16. You truly believe that yoga can and does cure every mental and physical condition/disease.
  17. You know 23 different breathing techniques some of which make very odd sounds.
  18. You say things like inversions make you think better. (What???)
  19. You are deferential to your teachers even though they say stupid things like inversions make you think better.
  20. You are very, very serious about yoga and know that is not a laughing matter and you didn’t laugh at any of these observations.